Welcome back, I hope you gained some new knowledge from the first post in this series! If you missed it, I talked about leadership and using positivity with children. Scroll down to read post #1!
Ok, onto the subject at hand. Kids have some challenging behaviors!! They need consequences for their actions. They need to learn right from wrong. But they still need to know that they are loved too, despite their bad choices. In each situation you will need to weigh out how big of a deal you think the behavior was. Don’t sweat the small stuff! When your child starts misbehaving, you need to make sure they know it’s their behavior that you didn’t like! Reaffirm your love for them!
Depending on the severity of the bad choice that your child made, it is right to provide a logical or natural consequence. Let’s dive into what each type of consequence is. A natural consequence is when a child chooses a bad behavior, the outcome happens naturally. For example, a child breaks a toy. What’s the natural consequence? The child can no longer play with the toy. Make sure your child sees you throw it away, or have them help. You might say, “That’s really sad that you chose to break your toy. Now it’s not safe to play with anymore, so we will have to throw it away. I love you and I want you to stay safe. I hope you make a better choice next time.” That’s it! Simple as that. They did something wrong, they got a consequence for their behavior. Now this is important: do not, I repeat, DO NOT run out and buy the child the same exact toy! That would defeat the whole purpose of the consequence! By not buying a new toy, this also teaches your child responsibility. He/She will learn that they need to take care of their belongings, because if they break something, that’s it. There won’t be a shiny new replacement.
A logical consequence is one that helps repair or make right what was done. For example- a child draws on the wall. What is the logical consequence in this scenario? The child must now help clean the wall! But– also I’d like to add- remember that young children are still learning what is acceptable and what is not. (0-5 year olds). If they’re over 5 years old, they probably should have known better. They may have drawn something amazing on that wall! If so, snap a photo and save it for them to see someday! I know in the heat of the moment you may be quite annoyed and mad that they chose to draw on the wall. However, if you feel anger rising in you, take a moment to look away from the child and the situation. Take a deep breath and think about the love you have for your child. When you feel more calm, you might say, “I’m really glad you enjoy drawing so much. However, the rule in our house (school or center) is that we draw on paper. Walls are not for drawing on. Now we must clean the wall. Then we can get you some paper to draw on.”
Have you tried giving your children natural or logical consequences? How did it go? Leave me a comment and let me know! In my next post I will be discussing the need for balance between disciplining and rewarding children.
Thanks for reading my blog! Please feel free to share this post with anyone you think might be interested! Thanks in advance! Check back soon for post # 3!
Until then, remember…
Our words really do matter!
Photo credit: Designed by Freepik